What Happens When Women Are Expected to “Do It All” — Without a Support System?

She’s the high performer on the morning call.
She’s the lunch-packer, the emergency contact, the midnight proposal finisher.
She’s leading her team, caring for her child, managing home logistics, and supporting aging parents.

She’s doing it all.
But no one asks how she’s doing.

This is the everyday reality for millions of working women in tech, especially in regions like India where family responsibilities and career aspirations often collide — without enough support to hold them up.

Let’s talk about what really happens when women are expected to “have it all”… but do it all, alone.

What the Numbers Show Us

This is not an isolated experience — it’s global, and deeply structural:

• A 2023 McKinsey & LeanIn.org report found that 43% of working women report being burned out — and caregiving pressure is a major factor.
• In India, nearly 70% of women surveyed by Deloitte said they manage most of the caregiving at home, even while working full-time.
• Globally, women perform more than 3x the unpaid care work than men — often alongside full-time jobs.
• A LinkedIn survey revealed that 1 in 4 Indian women left the workforce during the pandemic due to caregiving demands.

What’s clear: women are not lacking ambition — they’re lacking support systems.

So What Actually Happens When That Support is Missing?

1. Burnout Becomes the Baseline

When your day never ends — from morning routines to meetings, meal preps to deadlines — exhaustion becomes your default state.

With no one to tag in and no time to rest, women end up powering through survival mode, day after day.

“I didn’t realize how burned out I was until I stopped one weekend — and couldn’t get out of bed.”

2. Career Growth Stalls (Or Quietly Disappears)

That promotion? Too many late nights.
The new project? Not feasible without childcare.
Switching jobs? Too risky with family depending on your presence.

These aren’t choices — they’re trade-offs made in silence.

3. Mental and Emotional Health Takes a Hit

Women silently carry the cognitive load: school forms, medication schedules, birthdays, grocery lists, and emotional labor — on top of a demanding tech role.

Add the guilt of feeling like you're underperforming somewhere… and it's a recipe for chronic stress and anxiety.

4. Resentment Grows — But Can’t Be Voiced

At work, they feel undervalued.
At home, overwhelmed.
And through it all, they keep showing up — with a smile.

But that quiet frustration, if left unspoken, often leads to disconnection, disengagement, or eventually, walking away from promising careers.

What Needs to Change — In the Workplace and at Home

This isn’t just a personal problem.
It’s a systemic issue. And the solutions have to be systemic too.

1. Flexible Work — With Boundaries

True flexibility isn’t just working from home. It’s being able to:

• Say no to late-night calls without guilt
• Take time off without having to justify it
• Manage work around caregiving without losing credibility

Employers must move beyond token policies and create human-centered structures that help women thrive long-term.

2. Shared Responsibilities — Not Silent Expectations

Whether in Indian homes or Silicon Valley condos, the message is clear:

Women can do it all — but shouldn’t have to.

Spouses, siblings, parents, partners — it’s time to redistribute the load, not just admire the effort.

3. Normalize Asking for Help

In many cultures, especially in India, women are praised for being “sacrificing” or “superwomen.”
But this narrative traps them into burning out in silence.

Let’s normalize:

• Hiring help when needed
• Asking teammates for flexibility
• Saying “I can’t take this on right now” without shame

Help-seeking isn’t weakness — it’s smart self-preservation.

4. Create Supportive Micro-Communities

Even when companies can’t overhaul everything, teams can support each other.

• Buddy systems
• No-meeting Fridays
• Manager training on caregiving challenges
• Women-led forums to speak without judgment

Small efforts go a long way — especially when systems lag behind.

Final Thought

When we expect women to "have it all," we need to ask:
Are we giving them what they need to hold it all together?

It’s not enough to celebrate women who juggle everything.
We must question why they’re the ones juggling alone in the first place.

Because a world where women can grow — without burning out — isn’t just better for women.
It’s better for teams, families, companies, and entire economies.

Let’s stop asking women to “do it all.”
Let’s start building a world where they don’t have to.

Over to You:
Are you navigating the pressure to manage it all — career, caregiving, home? What helped you cope or find balance? Let’s open up the conversation and support one another.